Episode 6: Germana

VITAL STATS
Products: Germana (Cachaça from Brazil)
Alcohol Content: about 40% ABV
Location Purchased: The Celtic Whisky Shop, Dublin
Price Paid: 7 Euro.

Germana is a liquor made by distilling sugarcane broth. This is then aged in oak barrels for several years before being bottled in a special container that has been wrapped in banana leaves.

We should have known that we were embarking on a dangerous tasting when the bottle refused to open. We removed the cap and tried to pour the Germana into glasses. But lo and behold, when we tipped the bottle upside down, NO LIQUID CAME OUT. Upon further investigation, we discovered that there was an internal stopper inside the neck of the bottle that was preventing the liquor from being released. Looking back, we see that the stopper was there to keep us from drinking this foul little beverage. But, fools were are, we ignored the warning that the bottle itself gave us, and forged ahead on our deranged quest to drink the foulest drinks the world has to offer.

When we finally got the bottle open, we were assaulted by the strangest aroma we’d yet encountered. It smelled like walking past a nail salon in a run-down shopping complex. It smelled of nail polish, nail polish remover, and pulverized human fingernails. But the worst was yet to come.

Drinking Germana was like being attacked by an alley cat. The taste was sharp, and made our mouths and throats feel like they were either on fire or being scratched out. And the taste only gets worse with each additional sip.

Also, our cat Wiley makes a special guest appearance.

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3 responses to “Episode 6: Germana

  1. Awesome review! Wiley has star quality! Love the merch page!

  2. I’m not sure you’re giving Cachaça a fair shake by drinking it straight. Get a fifth of the stuff and make a couple Caipirinhas.

    Wikipedia has a list of cocktails with Cachaça, including one called Jaguar Milk. If that doesn’t sound worthy of a bad booze review, I don’t know what does.

  3. Love Wiley’s action right after Tucker says “It’s way funnier” at 4:16….remember that dramatic hamster video? That’s the music we need right there. It’s like she was waiting something to jump out of the glass…which probably would have happened if you hadn’t of drank it.

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