Alcohol Content: about 14% ABV
Location Purchased: Oh sheesh y’all…twas a gift! (Thanks, Erin!)
Price Paid: $8.99
Yoo-hoo. Nesquik. Ovaltine. Chances are that when you were a little kid, you drank chocolate milk ALL THE TIME. And why not? It’s delicious, and your parents probably were happy you were getting some calcium and vitamin D. But as we grow up, we leave childish things behind. Well, most of us do.
For those of us who suffer from Peter Pan syndrome, there’s Chocovine. It’s a Dutch product made from cream, chocolate, and red wine. We don’t know if people in Holland actually drink this stuff, or if they just export it to places like America, but this boozy little number strikes all kinds of warning bells for us. It’s actually pretty strong, but it also tastes super sweet. If you are buying this, chances are you are 1) a woman or 2) a dangerous sex offender. We’re betting on the latter.
We should probably warn you: this might just be our most offensive episode ever. We talk about poop, pedophilia, and other topics not fit for polite conversation. So you know, you’ll probably love it. Plus we teach you how to make your own Chocovine! Enjoy!