Episode 9: Chocovine

Product: Chocovine
Alcohol Content: about 14% ABV
Location Purchased: Oh sheesh y’all…twas a gift! (Thanks, Erin!)
Price Paid: $8.99

Yoo-hoo. Nesquik. Ovaltine. Chances are that when you were a little kid, you drank chocolate milk ALL THE TIME. And why not? It’s delicious, and your parents probably were happy you were getting some calcium and vitamin D. But as we grow up, we leave childish things behind. Well, most of us do.

For those of us who suffer from Peter Pan syndrome, there’s Chocovine. It’s a Dutch product made from cream, chocolate, and red wine. We don’t know if people in Holland actually drink this stuff, or if they just export it to places like America, but this boozy little number strikes all kinds of warning bells for us. It’s actually pretty strong, but it also tastes super sweet. If you are buying this, chances are you are 1) a woman or 2) a dangerous sex offender. We’re betting on the latter.

We should probably warn you: this might just be our most offensive episode ever. We talk about poop, pedophilia, and other topics not fit for polite conversation. So you know, you’ll probably love it. Plus we teach you how to make your own Chocovine! Enjoy!

4 responses to “Episode 9: Chocovine

  1. Cassie Pappathan

    So I saw this in the store and I’m a little sad that you guys already had a bottle. I was hoping that Chocovine was going to help me get a mention on Bad Booze Review. Swindle! I’ll have to search out more disgusting booze, I suppose.

  2. Finally! I’m glad to see you back! Chocolate and wine….I don’t think so. I won’t be trying that one!

  3. “I kind of like it. I mean it’s not good.”
    “I love dysentery”.

    Ummm….does anybody but me kind of find that just a bit masochist. There’s something deadly smouldering under there. Then they mention “To Catch a Predator”. The FBI file on T&T is growing like a certain 9-lobe leafed plant.

    Glad to see you used the “on sale” Qik, too. I hate to think you used quality stuff.

  4. Who doesn’t love alcoholic YooHoo!!!! It’s actually more decent on the rocks as the ice thins out the syrup-y-ness. Thing is your version cut the alcohol content since you “cut it” with the milk. Maybe some Chambord… hmmmmm.. time to start my experimenting mixing Nesquik with my different liquors 😀

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